AWOL

It has been ages since I last posted here. I have been busy changing, growing, learning, living and being. It has all been good for the most part with some hiccups along the way.


First, parenting Daniel has been changing. He is growing up and needing more autonomy in his life. Yet he is still so young and needing and wanting to be nurtured. Our relationship has been changing to accommodate his growth. It has been challenging and rewarding, but most of all it has taken a lot of thought, discussion and energy. There have been tears and laughter as we have both been trying to figure this all out Ultimately our relationship is getting stronger for it.... I still wonder why he didn't arrive with an owner's manual.


Personally, I have been growing as well. I was very inspired by reading 'A New Earth'. I learned a lot about myself. I have been somewhat humbled as I have learned how big a hold my ego has had on my life. As I have learned to live in the present moment, things have changed quite drastically. The most noticeable change is that I have had way more energy. I now realize that I have spent years wearing myself out by resenting the past, worrying about the future or wishing the present was different. Now that I accept where I am today and I embrace my life, I am amazed at how much time and energy I have to get things done or to just be. There are projects that have been sitting unfinished for years that are getting done with ease. Life seems to flow gracefully - it doesn't seem as challenging as it once did. I feel really balanced and I am thankful to have learned this stuff.

Now that I have freed up my time from all that baggage I was carrrying around I am starting to take things on and follow my interests. I have started coordinating a homeschool group, growing a garden, looking into some eco friendly business opportunities, and volunteering at the Centre for Positive Living. I am really enjoying all of this. I love the deeper connection with nature that I get from gardening. With all of this unfolding in my life, I am also finding that I spend less time on the computer and more time face to face with friends and family.

Final Project...

Last night we celebrated the end of the 'Science of Mind' class that I have been taking. We each presented a creative project showing how we had grown and how we could take that forward and create global change. It was such a great evening. The projects were so beautiful and meaningful. There were lots of tears shed as people shared. The evening ended with a song written by one of my very talented classmates.

Because I love to collect wise words, I thought I would make this collage of quotes about making change in the world. I believe that peace in the world comes from individuals finding peace within themselves. Here is my final project:

My Favourite Success Quote....

This one is a bit too long to fit in my sidebar, but this is my favourite quote regarding the definition of success. I carry this quote around in my purse and I read it often.

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have recently read that this quote was not actually from Emerson, but that doesn't matter to me. I appreciate whoever said these wise words and I still find inspiration in them.

So Stubborn....

I don't like hype.

I do like reading Harry Potter books though. So when a new Harry Potter book comes out I don't rush to the store to buy my copy like everyone else - I put my name on the list for it at the library and I (somewhat) patiently wait. That is my little protest against the hype. It is quiet, most people don't even know that I am protesting, but it is what I do.

So when Oprah launched the big online discussion about Eckart Tolle's latest book A New Earth, my hype radar went off. I enjoyed reading The Power of Now and I was fairly certain I would enjoy this new book, but again I was turned off by the hype that surrounded it. So I put my name on the list at the library and I decided to patiently wait. I think I was number 267 on the list. The library likely has about 20 copies of the book and each person ahead of me gets to keep the book for 3 weeks. Now I didn't actually do the math, but I was aware that it would probably be a while before I got to read it. I was okay with this - I have my philosophy class right now and many other books on the go to keep me busy.

In the meantime, however, many of my friends started reading the book and following the Oprah discussion. Several of them mentioned that they thought I would really enjoy it and wished that they could talk with me about it. I told them that I was on the list at the library and I was looking forward to reading it when it was my turn. Most of them responded in frustration by telling me that I could get the book for $10 at Costco. This prompted me to tell my little protest story. Part of my protest is with regard to the amount of trees destroyed in making the vast number of books required for everyone to be reading it at the same time. It could well be argued that the positive effects of so many people reading these wise words and coming together in a higher more peaceful consciousness would more than balance out the environmental impact, but still I persisted.

Anyway eventually one very good friend, who has been particularly frustrated that I "had to choose this book for my protest" because she would have liked to be able to discuss the book with me while she was reading it, finished reading the book and lent me her copy. I started reading it yesterday ..... and, my goodness, do I ever feel like a boob. This book is so phenomenal! I now realize why everyone wanted to talk about it. It is so thought-provoking and meaningful. It is also so eloquent and clearly written. I guess, according to the author, that not everyone will connect with the book - but if you do it is profound. In just over 24 hours, I have read the first three chapters and listened to the first three author discussions. I am really excited to read the rest of the book and I can't wait to call up everyone else to discuss it..... I am only hoping that all the wisdom that they gleaned from this book will give them the compassion not to slam the phone down on me. :-)

One of the World's Greatest Thinkers....

When I think of the people's who's works have inspired me over the years I think of people like Gandhi, Buddha, Emerson and Thoreau. Surprisingly though, another person I find very inspiring is Dr. Seuss. Now, I am actually serious here.

I have always found his stories to be quite profound and meaningful in addition to being entertaining and fun. I love his rhyming text and quirky characters, but the messages are really the best part.

Last night we went to see the movie "Horton Hears a Who". It was such fun. Combine the story-telling genius of Dr. Seuss with the comic talent of Jim Carrey, Steve Carrell and Carol Burnett and you have one great movie!

I love Horton the elephant's great wisdom after he has discovered a whole community living on a speck. He says "A person's a person no matter how small" and he reasons that "if you were way out in space and you looked down on Earth it would look like a speck too". I also love his motto that "an elephant's faithful 100 percent". What a great story of self-reliance, integrity, compassion, acceptance and peace.

This is such a great movie and it is really accessible to everybody. I don't think anyone could be too old or too young to enjoy it.

Ostara, Balance and Beautiful Things

I just love the beginning of spring. There seems to be such excitement in the woods where I walk as the birds return and the other animals are starting to scurry around. There is still the occasional patch of snow, but there are also buds starting to appear. The air is crisp and fresh and the ground is wonderfully muddy. I have discovered that mud is actually a wonderful thing when you live in a dry climate. In another month it will be hard dusty dirt and will likely stay that way until fall.

As we celebrated Ostara yesterday with a wonderful bunch of friends in a magical place, I started to think about balance. Today there is perfect balance - 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of darkness. As I move forward in life I endeavour to maintain balance. I want to look forward and be excited about the future, yet also be completely present and savour every moment. It is also my goal to balance the 5 areas of my life each day - health, abundance, loving relationships, creative expression and spirituality.

Proactively balancing is a fairly new thing for me. I used to reactively switch between the areas of my life either because one area would reach a crisis point or because I would drive myself to exhaustion. This new life of consciously creating my experience is quite refreshing. There is not nearly the same level of drama or excitement that there used to be - instead there is an enduring sense of peace and well-being. At this point I choose the peace and I am excited to see how life unfolds on this new path.

Complaint Free Update

Well, it has been 11 days since I started wearing my complaint free bracelet. I must admit I am finding this to be quite a challenge. Eleven days in and I have yet to go a full day without having to switch my bracelet. Now a full 24 hours without one complaint, criticism or bit of gossip may not sound that hard, but for me - apparently - it is.

I have just finished reading Will Bowen's book outlining the challenge. The goal is to go 21 consecutive days without complaining. I am glad I read the book because it clarified the rules for me. I was switching my bracelet even if a complaining thought entered my mind. Bowen suggests focusing only on spoken infractions. His theory is that once you have broken the habit of vocalizing complaints, your thoughts will follow.

Now I have clarified the objectives in my mind I am determined to overcome the first hurdle - a full complaint free day. That is my goal for tomorrow.

Bowen also suggests that once you start thinking and speaking in more positive ways you will attract more positive experiences and people into your life. It follows the principle that like attracts like. I must admit that I have been noticing that my interactions seem to have become more cheerful and friendly. In the past week alone I have run into a very helpful security guard in a parking lot, a very friendly road maintenance man and a caring and compassionate mail carrier. Perhaps these encounters would have happened regardless and it is just that I am more aware of the positive encounters, but either way it is very encouraging.

Back on the Wagon

About 8 months ago I joined a local group of about 250 people to take the 30 day complaint-free challenge. We all wore these bracelets:

For one month we tried to rid ourselves of all complaints, criticism and gossip. The bracelet served as a reminder and every time we caught ourselves doing any one of those things we would switch the bracelet to the other wrist. The idea is that by interrupting our old habits we could create new, more positive ones. Under the premise that we get more of what it is that we focus on, it seemed like a worthy endeavour.

This was quite an eye-opening experience for me. I had this rosy view of myself as a laid-back, people-loving, open-minded, accepting woman. Well, my goodness, I was horrified at how many times that bracelet was flying back and forth between my left and right wrists at first. I had no idea how much complaining, criticizing and gossiping I did.

Over the next month I gradually improved and the intervals between infractions grew bigger. By the end of the month I could go days without having to switch my bracelet. It was fantastic! I noticed that the less I harped on my negative thoughts the better I felt. Eventually life moved on, the experiment dwindled out and the bracelet claimed a home in my bathroom drawer.

Recently though, my friend Heather has decided to take on the same challenge. This reminded me of my experience and inspired me to look at my thoughts now, 7 months later. I couldn't believe it! Over the course of a couple of hours I complained about several things, criticized my son and gossiped about a group of people who are doing things that do not fit with my values.

It seems I have slipped back into my old ways. Considering the positive effects in my life from my last experience with this, I have decided to dust off my bracelet and start again.

This time I think I will carry this on until it becomes a natural - permanent - part of my life instead of making it a 30 day experiment. I really believe that this is life-changing stuff so it is worth the effort. I know some of our other friends are joining in on this also, so I think we are going to be the nicest, most positive, feel-good ladies a person could hang out with. By the end of the month we will be emanating such a cloud of joy that people will sense us coming from miles away....